Media Pendeja

Hi guys,

Hope this Sunday isn’t too stressful.

I am writing today to share something I usually wouldn’t.

I fought with my boyfriend. That’s normal, I know people fight. People who love each other, people who know better, it just happens. People clash.

It’s the after that is always weird. Let me say this upfront. We’ve apologized to each other. I am so delighted we’re not fighting anymore and we’ve apologized to each other and explained our side.

But this morning for a little bit, it feels awkward. We’re walking on eggshells and picking our words very carefully. We avoid eye contact until all of our old habits come back from their hiding places. The hiding places they go to when tensions and voices rise. I think it may just be me, but I don’t know what to do after a fight. I don’t want to be too present because just like being hurt physically, I think emotional wounds are prone to open back up if you’re not careful. So I just make myself busy and clean, do my chores.

We’re not fighting anymore, we’re just being careful and in some ways it feels just as bad. Well… no I take it back. Not as bad, but you know, not as good. That is a way better way to put it.

We’ll be okay. I know we are. I just want to go back to the careless affection that comes when everything is at peace. I guess I can go bug him and try to break the ice.

Hope your Sunday is swell.

-IC